So… what’s the strangest game you’ve ever played? And I’m talking serious weird over here, the kind that makes you wonder what was going on in the heads of whoever came up with this idea. Or, worse, the people who greenlit the draft when it was submitted to them. Gaming is a rapidly growing industry, for understandable reasons too. More platforms are being released on a regular basis and gameplay experience has drastically improved, proportionally to the advances in graphics and general effort put into the creation of a game. Just think about it – there’s definitely effort: you need to think of a good story, good characters, then there’s the whole technical business, where you need to make sure that there are as few glitches as possible. Learn from Assassin’s Creed: Unity, basically. EA had a riot on their heads. But, you know, all of these things are mandatory to some game developers. Who needs a good story or good graphics? Let’s just get hammered, sit down in front of a laptop and pray for the best. This is how, I’m guessing, we came to get the 10 Absolute Weirdest Video Games Ever Made. You can play them, but only ironically.
1. Zombie Nation
Year: 1990
Country: When you say “weird,” at least one of those things has got to be Japan’s fault.
The Plot: A meteor crashes in Nevada and turns everybody into bloodthirsty zombies.
Why is it weird?
Ah, who knows? Maybe it’s the fact that you play as a severed head that floats around the city, destroying enemies with eye lasers, all of which builds up to the thrilling, concluding boss battle: the possessed, evil head of the Statue of Liberty. I wish I was making this up.
2. Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit
Year: 1994
Country: USA! USA!
The Plot: The game is loosely based on Home Improvement, a popular sitcom, and it follows Tim as he tries to retrieve his a tool line named after him, which has gone missing.
Why is it weird?
I don’t think “loosely based” properly justifies the fact that Tim has to fight with energy wave chainsaws against dinosaurs, robots and mummies. Ah, but what’s more, good luck trying to figure out all the controls. This game has no instructions, because “real men don’t need them.”
3. Manhunt
Year: 2003
Country: North America. Wait, that’s not a country. The countries of North America. Canada included. Woo, Canada!
The Plot: You play as James Earl Cash, an inmate who seeks to gain freedom by stealthily executing gang members.
Why is it weird disturbing?
This isn’t the Assassin’s Creed kind of stealth killing, since every murder comes with its own cut scene that basically features a parade of gore fests. Hey, you even get grades between one and five stars depending on how gruesome the death is! Try not to play this game on the day of the Thanksgiving family reunion.
4. Socks The Cat Rocks The Hill
Year: Never.
Country: Nowhere. Seriously, it was so bad it got canceled.
The Plot: When the codes for USA’s nuclear arsenal are stolen, you receive the task of retrieving them.
Why is it weird?
The hero is Bill Clinton’s cat. Honestly, do you need more reasons?
5. Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker
Year: 1989
Country: USA
The Plot: You play as Michael Jackson, guiding him in his quest to rescue some children from the tight grasp of a drug dealer mastermind.
Why is it weird?
Your weapon is dancing. You hurl hats at your enemies. You can make them dance literally until they die. You can turn Michael Jackson into a rocket and laser shooting spaceship. My head hurts.
6. Dark Seed
Year: 1992
Country: USA & Canada
The Plot: Our protagonist tries to figure out the mystery behind his nightmares, in a point-and-click gameplay.
Why is it weird?
I know they say this game is a “psychological horror,” but it’s the sliest kind of rage game. You don’t get time to explore, since every point-and-clicking sequence is timed, and if you don’t complete the phases in time… you start the whole game over! Yeah, I’m perfectly serious. There are zero save points in this game. You can literally be one second away from the ending; if you don’t click fast enough, the whole thing’s over.
7. Seaman
Year: 1999
Country: Japan. Surprise.
The Plot: Take care of your own aquatic virtual pet and help it grow.
Why is it weird?
Jokes on you, it’s not a fish, folks. Your pet is a fish with a human face voiced by Leonard Nimoy, who needs to be checked on daily (in real life time) or else he will die.
8. Penn & Teller’s Smoke And Mirrors
Year: When pigs will fly.
Country: A trashcan, hopefully.
The Plot: Have fun with the multitude of mini-games at your disposal.
Why is it weird?
There is one particular game called “Desert Bus” where all you do is drive a bus on a straight road. With no obstacles. Or road changes. Literally, you just keep pressing forward. This can go on for eight hours. How much free time is too much?
9. Shaq Fu
Year: 1994
Country: Places in North America and Europe.
The Plot: Play as Shaquille O’Neal as he gets tricked to fall into a portal, then proceeds to beat up possessed enemies and children, who are controlled by an evil mummy– come on! What the heck?
Why is it weird?
There was absolutely no way for me to come up with a deceiving, normal sounding plot for this game. That’s enough of a proof.
10. Baby’s Day Out
Year: 1994, if it weren’t for the fact it got canceled. Ha, ha!
Country: Sigh, USA.
The Plot: You’re a hidden, omniscient and omnipresent guardian presence. Help this crawling baby get… somewhere, I guess.
Why is it weird?
Really? Are you really willing to play a game where all you do is open doors and guide a baby through bad 90’s graphics levels? Did I mention you are also supposed to let it fall off ledges? Don’t recommend this game to any first-time parents.
Okay, real talk, I’d love to be able to complain about how these games “are giving me headaches” and how they shouldn’t exist, but I’m personally glad they do. Not every video game has to be The Last Of Us. Some, like the 10 Absolute Weirdest Video Games Ever Made, can exist for the sole purpose of becoming someone’s guilty pleasures.
