Sometimes, you really need an excuse for not going to work. Whether you planned to relax for a day in the company of your partner or you just not feel like going, after the wild party you threw the night before, there are days when you are not in mood to get up from bed. This is why I brought you this list of best excuses for not going to work:
1. Your child is sick and you have no one to leave him with
This one may really work; in fact, it is certain to work, even more than once. However, be careful when using it, not all employers care about your family issues. Also, sickness is not a topic to play with. Sensitive people will probably not agree with this one.
2. Your child has a day off from school and you have no one to leave him with
Another excuse related to your kids, this one should be used only if details can be provided, if needed. This actually means that your boss may want to know what is the reason for the day off. Here are some tips: the teacher is not at school, if some holidays are near, the children might have been dismissed a day earlier or there’s an epidemic in the school.
3. Your door is blocked
I heard this one myself, back when I was in high school. A teacher called and announced that she could not come that day because she was stuck inside her apartment, as the door refused to open. This is one of the best excuses for not going to work because it is both hilarious and so unusual that it may work just fine.
4. An important event in the family
If you are in desperate need to take a day off, but you have nothing to tell to your boss, you may invent an important family event: one of your children is getting married, a close relative is giving birth (but not your own wife, or else you’ll be caught in an instant), your children are graduating or even, if you have an understanding boss, it’s your wife’s birthday and want to surprise her.
5. Your car was stolen
This one is a bold lie and it may work pretty well! If you’re just not in mood for going to work, then call and announce your boss that your car was stolen. Not only that you don’t have a means of transportation, but you also have to go to the police to report it missing and try to find it. This is a good reason, because the next day, you can go to work in your car again, blessing the authorities for having found it so fast.
6. You have no key
Related to the one with the blocked door, this one may work pretty well also. Your husband/wife/children mistakenly took your key, or you lost it somewhere and now, you can’t lock your door. You can’t just leave it open- some thief might get in!
7. You need to go to the emergency room
One of the best reasons for not going to work is an embarrassing medical, yet minor medical problem. You may accuse a severe toothache, a serious diarrhea or food poisoning and tell your boss that you definitely need to see a doctor. Not only that all these medical problems will for sure work, with no extra questions, but they are also as mild as to allow you to come back to work the very next day. And no prove needed either.
8. A womanly problem
If you are a woman and your boss is a man, than accusing feminine problems should work every single time. Most men are too embarrassed to question you forward and to unknowing to doubt your need for a day off. If your boss is a woman however, things might not be as easy.
9. The return of a long lost relative
If you have an understanding boss, than you might tell him that a close relative (as your sister, father, child or grandson) who had moved to another country and you haven’t seen since many years returns that very same day. It is almost impossible not to get away with it…except for the case when your boss read this article!
10. You are moving
You sold your house and you must move that very same day. Make sure that your innocent colleagues don’t’ blow your cover and that the next day, you seem exhausted and irritated. This is what people usually feel after a day of carrying furniture, and organizing a new home.
photo credits:
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this is fucking ridiculous.