Since we’re being bombarded with ads, banners, flyers and lectures on the importance of working out, chances are you’ve been to the gym at least once in the last six months. Then you should be familiar with these 10 thoughts we all have while working out. And not even all the positive quotes on Tumblr can help once you fall down that rabbit hole. If exercising is a hassle for you too, you’ll know what I’m talking about. But at the end of the day, nothing tastes as good as skinny tastes, right? Well, maybe except lava cakes, quatro formaggi pasta, anything that has chocolate in it and any kind of meat. Someone pass this on to Kate Moss asap.
1. The most uncomfortable workout gear
Yes, that sports bra looked cool on the mannequin, but a size up wouldn’t have hurt. And the weights strapped to your ankles are probably going to come off with a big chunk of your skin. Shorts weren’t such a good idea either, since you’re going to have to walk like a western cowboy because your inner thighs are too raw now to touch each other.
2. Is it killing me or making me stronger?
Doesn’t matter, just keep going no matter what. You might hear some weird snapping sounds coming from your spine. That’s just fat crying. And if your knees lock and you want to collapse, remember you’re not a quitter, and the battle is only in your mind. After all, the only workout you’ll regret is yesterday’s squat session.
3. The ultimate life changer
Introducing yoga, the best path to get to know yourself, get in touch with your inner child and feel like someone is ripping your hips out of your body. Seriously now, crow’s pose? What’t wrong with happy baby or child’s pose? I’m telling you, less is more, even in yoga.
4. Not feeling it
Ok, you managed to get out of bed and put on clothes and now you’re on the treadmill, but it’s just so. hard! But walking on a 13 inclined band counts too, right? Oh, look, 28 calories burnt, time to head home.
5. I deserve a reward
Sure, your fridge is packed with skimmed milk, quinoa salads, 0 percent fat chocolate brownies and raw cookies that cost more than a regular ten pound cake, but you’ve earned real food. Your 35 minute kettlbell session earned you the right to stop by that In and Out on your way home. You’ll just have a diet Coke to balance everything out and skip breakfast the following five mornings.
6. Why are ripped people still hanging out here?
Come on, you’re beyond a six pack, you basically have an eight pack by now, killer calves and spot on triceps. Go home, you’re done!
7. Sweat stains
Someone forgot their manners at home and should be banned from this gym. Better off, all the gyms in the world. Make that the universe! There’s no logical explanation as to why you shouldn’t wipe the equipment you’ve been working (and sweating) on after you’re done.
8. That was just the warm-up?!?
Water bottle check, exercise mat check, towel check! Ready to get hot for summer? You’re going to kill it in there, everyone will be looking at you for instructions, not at the trainer, you can squat, dead lift and do push ups way better than him. Huh, this is proving to be quite a challenge. Okay, jumping jacks done, it’s on to single leg glute bridges and then you can head over to H&M to try out all the new collection in XS. Wait, why are these people picking up dumbbells?
9. Running to a song you like
Admit it, when “Eye of the Tiger” starts blasting in your headphones, you suddenly feel like you have wings. You could go for an extra mile. You could go run outside, so what if it’s snowing? You could run a marathon! Why stop there, the sky’s the limit, let’s enter IronMan next year! Then the song ends and you’re so out of breath and panting so loud all the gym is now staring at you, wondering if you’re having a stroke.
10. Only 20 push ups?!
When you can finally do 20 consecutive push ups, you feel like the king of the gym. The world is your oyster and everyone will be hitting on you on the beach. Thank you, society, for exploiting body insecurities and making us crunch, squat and push our ways towards that perfect, unachievable body image. Now let’s cry a river over a double cheeseburger.