No, it’s not all about jumping on the bed, walking around with no pants on, pilling up dirty dishes and enjoying the silence. Not having roomies is hard and there are at least 10 things you learn when you live alone. Although this is the majority’s childhood dream, not sharing a studio or a flat isn’t actually that great most of the time. Sure, you don’t have to engage in small talk when you bump into each other in the kitchen, and you definitely don’t have to play the grown up at all times, discussing bills. But there are some things you start missing about a roommate.
1. The first rule of living alone: there are no rules
The greatest danger you run into the second you start living on your own is that you can (finally) be yourself. That means bye bye etiquette, you can eat for seven days out of the same plate and you can eat soup with a fork without anyone judging. You can leave dirty clothes around, you can skip cleaning your fridge for months on end. That’s right, you can be yourself. The downside? You’ll never get anything done, you’ll waste your life and end up depressed.
2. That’s not trash, it’s modern art
You might tell your guests and concerned family members that those beer cans are all lined up in your kitchen for recycling, but let’s face it. You know that’s just trash piling up because you don’t remember where you put your bin bags and you really can’t be bothered to put on pants and go out to buy new ones.
3. You actually won’t be entirely alone
There will be the occasional eight legged intruder, just dropping by to say “hi” from the wildness. You should better know this from now: there will be spiders. There will be the occasional bugs. Some of them will have wings. Some will be attracted by your kitchen light bulb. There will be evenings when you’ll have to dine in darkness. Joking aside, you should be prepared for spiders. The silver lining here is that they’re harmless.
4. It’s all about the comfort food
I’m just going to lay it out there: cooking dies once you start living on your own. If you once knew how to make Jamie Oliver’s twenty nine ingredient pasta, you can kiss it goodbye. It’s all about binging on comfort food and guzzling down Pepsi from now on, baby! Ain’t no one got time for risottos or raw vegan cookies.
5. Who’s that handsome guy in the mirror?
There will be a lot of talking once you start living on your own. Mainly with yourself. Your mirror self. And I don’t mean pep talks, “lookin’ good!” or “keep at it!”, I mean “let’s open another beer” and “one more chocolate box never harmed any one”.
6. You’re on a roller coaster that only goes up
Until you notice it can, it will and it is going down. This should’ve been the time for living your dreams, for taking those acting classes, keeping up with your personal blog, learning Russian, practicing the guitar. But most of the time living alone is all about wasting your days and never doing anything. Ever.
7. Plans are a thing of the past
Living with others can push you towards being a better version on yourself. Having roomies will not only encourage you to put on pants, they’ll also hold you accountable for that 6 am run, that New Year’s book reading challenge and going out by yourself at least once a week. Living will be all about binging on “Vikings” and munching on chips.
8. Letting it all out
No more bottling up those tears each time you see a sad movie. Go ahead and pull those tissues closer and top up the Merlot to rewatch “The Fountain” for the umpteenth time. You seldom venture into watching new movies one you start living on your own.
9. There’s someone in the house
The second you start living alone, your hearing becomes ten times sharper. You can detect the tiniest squeak (ghosts), every creak (serial killer) and each crack (Hannibal Lecter). This is usually a night activity, so you can’t be bothered to step out of your bed and investigate. You just lie there, waiting to be murdered by the intruder and cooked in a steak.
10. You can do whatever crosses your mind
In a nutshell, the world is your oyster. Whether you choose to stay indoors all day in your sweatpants or if you feel like going out for a run and a meetup, it’s all up to you how your days look like.