When we have a little too much alcohol to drink we become all types of drunks, but have you ever wondered if alcohol drinks were men, what type of men they would be? Today, we’ve got 10 drinks and what they would be like if they were men, so read on and enjoy!

10. Whiskey


The whiskey man is a strong and confident man in his 40’s. He doesn’t take crap from anybody, but he’s a gentle soul. His charm and allure come from the fact that he’s silent and wise, the type of man you’d want around you in times of need. Out of all the types of men on our list today, the whiskey man is the most mature man.

9. White Wine

white wine

If white wine were a man, he would be a 35 year old artist who loves nothing more than to cuddle on a sofa with a good book and his lovely cat. The white wine man is a keeper, a man who isn’t too easy to find, so if you find a white wine man, grab a hold of him and don’t let go.

8. Champagne


The champagne man is unpredictable and glamorous. He’s the type of man who takes you to a great party and shows you the time of your life. He’s a man who takes care of his appearance, some might say a metrosexual. He’s fun and young and life next to him is one big party!

7. Gin


If gin were a man, he would be a tall, thin, but muscular man who likes to smoke and read the classics. Just like gin, he would be a refreshing blast from the past, a charming gentleman, who will invite you into his world and make you feel like you were the most important person to him. The gin man is a college literature professor with a charming voice and plenty to teach.

6. Water


When it comes to drinks and what they would be like if they were men, water doesn’t seem to fit, but sure enough, there are men out there who are just like water: boring but necessary. If water were a man, he would be not too short and not too tall, not too thin and not too fat… in other words, he would be the epitome of average.

5. Brandy


Brandy would be a smart and educated man. A lover of arts and also a lover. Just like brandy, the man would be classy and erudite and very, very attractive. Once you fall in love with brandy, the beverage, you won’t be able to fall out of love, so expect the same type of situation from the brandy man.

4. Red Wine

red wine

Red wine would be a sophisticated man who’s been around the block once or twice. He knows his way with women and is not afraid to show his feelings. He’s fantastic in the bedroom and he will never lie to you. The only flaw of the red wine man is that he might be too brutally honest with you and that, sometimes, is not fun.

3. Tequila


Tequila is a college student who has just gotten out of his parents’ house and is ready (or so he thinks) to take on the world. He is the type of man (or boy, to be more accurate) who will sweep you off your feet and pull you in his whirlwind life, just to let you go when you least expect it. He’s good in small shots, but don’t attempt to consume too much of him, you’re guaranteed to get sick.

2. Vodka


If vodka were a man it would a mature man, who knows what he wants out of life. You see, vodka is a bit dangerous, just like any sane person over 30. The vodka man doesn’t necessarily want to settle down, but he’s not afraid of a committed relationship. He’s also versatile and never boring. He’s the type of man you’d want to raise a family with.

1. Beer


You won’t encounter a more relaxed man than the beer man. He’s the type of person to enjoy life as it comes to him. He doesn’t like to make plans and he certainly doesn’t like to be told what to do. If beer were a man, he would he handsome and fun with just a few minor characters faults, but then again, nobody’s perfect. Except beer. Beer is always perfect. Matter of fact, I’m going out for some beer right now! Cheers!

Did you enjoy our top ten of drinks and what they would be like if they were men? If you have, then drop us a line in the comment section below, we’d love to hear from you!