10 Types of Drunks We Become
They say that every type of alcoholic drink gets you drunk differently. We don’t really know what to say about that, but we do know that drinking and getting drunk can transform even the cutest and shyest person into a beast. Most of the times, we know what’s going to happen after we have a couple of drinks (laugh, giggle, talk, sleep) but there are those times, when you manage to surprise even yourself. Let’s take a look at 10 types of drunks we become after consuming a little bit too much booze than we should.
10. The How About We… Type
When you become the How About We type you will invite all your friends to engage in various dubious or less dubious activities, ranging from going to the park in the middle of the night to pain mustaches on statues, to getting involved in some illegal activities that could lead to your imprisonment. Either way, you’re fun!
9. The Wobbler Type
When you become the wobbler, people will often touch you to keep you still and prevent you from falling. You don’t make much sense, but you’re not able to see that, so you keep talking and wobbling at the same time… which doesn’t give you too much credibility. Our advice is to listen to your friends when they tell you that you need to go home and sleep it off.
8. The Remember that Time When… Type
The moment you get drunk and start uttering remember that time when… you know you’ve become one of the worst types of drunks out there, the reminiscer. You’ll drive people insane with all your stories about your hay day, about the time you kissed that person and about the time your mother caught you tickling the monkey.
7. The Are You Talking to Me Type
A few drinks in and you’re Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver. You’re a giant ball of rage that will pop without much interference from the outside world. If you feel particularly angry at one point, our advice is to simply not start drinking, but if you do, then do it in the comfort of your own house. You’re less likely to get a swollen eye that way.
6. The America’s Got Talent Type
All of a sudden, you feel like the most talented person in the room and you need to show everyone around you your talents. You can touch your nose with your tongue? Then the bartender needs to know about it, fast! You can put your whole fist in your mouth? It’s something the whole table needs to see and photograph. You’ve got talent, and real talent is hard to come across, these days.
5. The It’s On Me Type
When we turn into an It’s On Me drunk, our wallet regrets it. We regret it in the morning, but at the time it happens, it seems like the best idea we’ve ever had. A feeling shared by everyone you’ve bought drinks for. Out of all the types of drunks on our list, this type is most detrimental to our finances. The next time you feel like buying the whole bar a drink, bite your tongue and think about how hard you need to work for your money… even if you don’t.
4. The I Love You, Man Type
I love you are the three words drunks say very often; those and I’ll have another one. When you become an orb of love that needs to keep on sharing, you pose no real threat to others or yourself. What surprises you in times like these is that you didn’t notice how much you love the bartender until that moment.
3. The Potty Mouth
When you turn into a potty mouth drunk, the F word is your medicine. The more you say it, the better you feel. It’s like you’ve stepped out of a Guy Ritchie movie and you’re ready to bring down the house. When the urge hits to spread some nasty love around, think about how you kiss your mother with that mouth.
2. The Creepy Dude/Dudette Type
There are some times when we have a little too much to drink and we turn into the creepiest dude/dudette in the bar. We keep saying weird stuff that freaks people out, such as did you that there are some taxidermists out there who eat road kill before stuffing their animals? and then smile like a mad person. When you get strange looks from people around you, take it as a sign to stop saying stuff and giving weird looks to folks.
1. The Lover
Oh, baby, when that red wine hits the spot, you know you can’t stand still! You’re in the mood for some nasty business and if you don’t have someone to bump uglies with, then you need to find someone as soon as possible. The sad part happens when you get back home alone and you discover that your Internet is down.
What other types of drunks you can think of? Would you like to share with us? If you would, then do so in the comment section below.