Facebook is no longer simply the place to connect with friends and find out about new stuff and ideas. It has become much more than that. Facebook is now a place where things happen as they would in real life. You’re meeting new people, having weird and uncomfortable conversations with strangers, and, most of all, enduring hate and gossip. There are even 10 Facebook commandments that you should follow if you want your time on Facebook to be enjoyable. However, today we have 10 types of people you’ll find on Facebook; the ones who drive you mad with their posts and the ones who force you to unfriend them. Here they are:
10. The Cat and Dog Monster
The fact that they own a cat or a dog is the most important thing that will ever happen to them. They share every moment of their cute pooch’s life with everyone. “Oh, look, my little darling is yawning!” Yes, yawning – something the Internet has never seen a dog or cat do. If you’re lucky enough to consider the animal cute and not be bothered by the hourly posts about them, then you should count your blessings.
9. The 9Gager
Was 9Gag ever cool to begin with? I mean, you can find some amusing posts, I’ll grant it that, but you’d need time for that. People who post from 9Gag are obviously men and women who don’t have an occupation or a job. Or they have a job they’re not doing right. Either way, stay away from 9Gagers, they can suck you in and make you waste your precious time.
8. The Breeder
Some may find this name offensive, so for those, please consider Persons who have brought forth a child into this world. Much like the Cat and Dog Monster, the Breeder feels the need to share EVERY moment of their baby’s life on Facebook. Which is annoying and rude.
7. The Jamie Oliver
One photo of a cake you’ve toiled for in the kitchen for three hours is OK, but their every breakfast, lunch and dinner plastered on their Facebook wall isn’t. Scientists have yet to figure out the force that drives people to constantly share photos of their food. Some believe that this desire dates back to pre-modern times, when we used to live in caves. Or they do it to spite people.
6. The Muscle Freak
Sharing fitness inspirational pictures isn’t enough for the muscle freak. Sharing photos of them at the gym isn’t enough for them. Sharing photos of their food and protein shakes is still not enough. No, they have to demean everyone else who is not a muscle freak! That’s how you, a normal, non-muscular person, gets to feel like crap for not working out. Thank you, muscle freak person in my Facebook feed.
5. The Joker
Out of all the people you’ll find on Facebook, the Joker is, by far, the most annoying and least amusing. You know those people who fill their walls with tasteless jokes and cartoons that were funny in 1985 (no offense, 1985, we’re sure you’ve seen some good jokes). Whatever you do, do not click on the links shared by these people, you might like something without actually hitting the like button.
4. The Gamer
Gamer, in Facebook terms, has nothing to do with a real gamer. A Facebook gamer is a person who spends all of their Facebook time playing silly and colorful Facebook games, such as Candy Crush Saga and Farmville (is Farmville even a thing anymore, because back in my day it was?). Thank our good Lord that you can block games and you only have to put up with the gamer for a short period of time.
3. The Selfie
Recent studies have linked selfies to mental illness, which is funny and sad at the same time. These days you can’t avoid selfies, because they’re everywhere you turn, which has made a couple of selfies per user a tolerable thing on Instagram and Facebook. If you’re dealing with someone who posts numerous selfies, then you must deal with them quickly, if you care about your mental health.
2. The Instagramer
Facebook is full of people who link their Instagram account to their Facebook account and that is truly an abomination. They can’t seem to get enough of showing off! If you’re bugged by these types of people, we suggest you either unfriend them, or just unsubscribe from their posts.
1. The Hashtag Aficionado
Hashtags are a pretty cool way to find more information about the things you are interested in, but these days it seems that people are abusing Hashtags like there was no tomorrow. #ijustlovethissong #hangingoutwithmybff #arenthashtagsannoying? The Hashtag aficionado/abuser should be given as little space to manifest themselves as possible.
Can you think of any other types of people you’ll find on Facebook who drive you up the wall with their posts? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.